Jokes about lists.

Make a noise like a carrot. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo.”. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away. International researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes (from across the world wide web) and narrowed them down to a list of 50, and then 36,000 people voted. We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your ... Funny Insults That Really Aren't That Mean. "I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you." "Your mouth should be as silent as the 'P' in psychology." "Calling you is a waste of time." "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to bury my head that deep in the sand." "I'm still deciding whether you're the weakest link or the ...Here are some of the 30 best jokes and craziest moments from the special (in no particular order): “This is where Jerry Buss laid his dick out. This was called the …Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to crash. A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but has only 3 parachutes. The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't.

After reading through all these monkey jokes we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Bee jokes; Jokes about dolphins; Dinosaur jokes for kids; Funny dog punsIt’s feeling crummy. It takes guts to be an organ donor. To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now. My printer’s name is Bob Marley. Because it’s always jammin’. It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

Why was the broom late to school? It over-swept! What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels! What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!

The horse says, "You read my mind." How did people see in the dark during medieval times? They used knight lights. Why aren't there a lot of jokes about peaches? …The joke-teller begins "knock, knock," the person hearing the joke replies "who's there," and then the joke-teller proceeds to set up a pun or humorous turnaround. However, in an anti-joke version, the "knock knock" scenario is commonly played straight, subverting the attempt at humor. - Knock Knock. - Who's there?This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it...So if you love witty one-liners or silly puns – this article is tailored for anyone seeking light entertainment. So sit back, relax and get ready to burst out laughing as we take on these 75 hilariously humorous jokes! List of Jokes About Laughing . 1. Why was the math book always laughing? Because it had too many problems! 2.Mar 11, 2024 ... 5852 likes, 77 comments - coachsaysjokes on March 11, 2024: "Dad Joke: The Shopping List @CoachSaysJokes, your go-to guy for a daily dose of ...

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Nov 5, 2021 · 71. “Buffet” is a French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”. 72. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the ...

Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but they’re great to tell kids. If you’re looking for very funny jokes to share with your kids to strengthen your bond and make them laugh, then the following 9 jokes are perfect. 1. Knock knock – Who’s there – Annie – Annie who?11. Slapstick/Physical Jokes. A slapstick is a simple comedic tool made of two pieces of wood. If you “hit” someone with a slapstick, the wood pieces smack together and make a loud noise. It looks and sounds like the person really got slapped, but in fact, the slapstick won’t hurt them at all.Because I've found my direction with you.”. 68. “If you were a star, you'd be a supernova.”. 69. “You must be a dictionary because you add meaning to my life.”. 70. “You must be a planet because you have me orbiting around you.”. 71. “If I had a penny for every time you made me smile, I'd be a millionaire.”.40 Adult Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid, And Funny. Enough with the child-appropriate humor! It's time for some dirt and filth that we all secretly crave—dirty dad jokes, X-rated jokes, and corny jokes for adults that would not be so school-appropriate. And don't be shy; even if you don't like (lies) filthy adult jokes, you must admit that ...Feb 12, 2018 · Dirty One Liner Jokes. Finally, here’s some hilarious one liner dirty jokes for those who like it quick! The difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah” is about three inches. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs.

Sep 17, 2022 · After reading through all these monkey jokes we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Bee jokes; Jokes about dolphins; Dinosaur jokes for kids; Funny dog puns May 5, 2023 · Funny clean jokes. 1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. AndrewsMcMeel). She is also a “calendar queen” having written over 20. She has been nominated for both an Emmy and Writers Guild award. Thefullwiki.org has listed Marnie Macauley on their list of top Jewish_American writers, dead or living. (She’s still deciding which.) She was also chosen as a Distinguished Woman in Nevada in March of 2014.Look no further because I’ve got you covered with 75 hilarious jokes about all things history. These jokes will not only tickle your funny bone but also impress your friends with your wit and cleverness. We’ll be cracking puns about famous figures and making clever quips about significant events throughout time.Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One …

I am over 18. Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks. (TKZS = a state-run commie collective farm.) A man walks in the TKZS' boss office and says: "Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks." The boss laughs straight at his face: "Comrade, the average salary here is 150 bucks. I don't make 500.Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her. Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip ‘n slide. Yo mama so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama so fat, she puts on her belt with a boomerang. Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never …Facebook’s lead data protection regulator in the European Union is inching toward making its first decision on a complaint against Facebook itself. And it looks like it’s a doozy. ...15. ADVERTISEMENT. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you’ve calculated your timing perfectly). Hence, if you are looking for a comedic ...1. I’ve been trying to write a joke about elevators, but I keep getting stuck. 2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. 3. I heard the best time to tell jokes is when people aren’t expecting pun-liners. 4. My friend had a pet mouse named George. He always knew how to squeak by. 5.Yo momma so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone. Yo momma so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth. Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One …

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Best One-Liner Dad Jokes. Buff Strickland. The coach went to the bank to get his quarterback. I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing. The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet. Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.

7. When your drunk self decides to take a crack at it. ... but then gives up and delegates to sober you. 8. Or when your husband takes the list *too* literally. 9. When a 7-year-old makes a major ...21. Eye jokes are the best. The cornea, the better. 22. One of my favorite things is when the Earth rotates. It makes my day. 23. I tried organizing a hide-and-seek tournament. But, good players were hard to find.Best Corny Dad Jokes. "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered." "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward." "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.The joke-teller begins "knock, knock," the person hearing the joke replies "who's there," and then the joke-teller proceeds to set up a pun or humorous turnaround. However, in an anti-joke version, the "knock knock" scenario is commonly played straight, subverting the attempt at humor. - Knock Knock. - Who's there?Jan 13, 2022 ... The best jokes ever performed soon become iconic classics, and there is no better iconic joke than a one-liner. We've compiled a list of the ...Jul 14, 2021 · Tick Tock Goes the Clock. Doctor: “Mr. Jones, you may want to sit down. I have some bad news and some very bad news… which would you like to hear first?”. Mr. Jones: “Oh jeez, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”. Doctor: “The bad news” doctor notes, “is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.”. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!"7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t ...

45 Hilarious List Puns - Punstoppable 🛑. My wife asked me to put ketchup in the shopping list. Now I can't read anything. 👍︎ 357. 💬︎. 18 comments. 👤︎ u/sm-aug. 📅︎ …Jan 13, 2022 ... The best jokes ever performed soon become iconic classics, and there is no better iconic joke than a one-liner. We've compiled a list of the ...Ge-om-e-try! (Gee, I’m a tree!) 12. Teacher: Why are you turning in a blank sheet of paper? Student: Because all my answers are imaginary numbers. 13. Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. Student Two: She must be plotting something. 14.Instagram:https://instagram. waterford castle hotel and golf resort Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar... He orders 1 beer. Then he orders 2 beers. Then he orders 9999999 beers. Then he orders -1 beer. Then he orders a dragon. Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh. Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside.The hip replacement joke, “Hip replacement? He was never hip to begin with!” is written to go along with a hip replacement cartoon by Marty Bucella that jokes about the character’s... barclays bank mastercard 30 Of The Funniest Jokes That Crack People Up To This Day. Justin Sandberg and. Kotryna Br. 75. 31. ADVERTISEMENT. A well-timed joke can often be the perfect pick … fishing spots 40 Adult Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid, And Funny. Enough with the child-appropriate humor! It's time for some dirt and filth that we all secretly crave—dirty dad jokes, X-rated jokes, and corny jokes for adults that would not be so school-appropriate. And don't be shy; even if you don't like (lies) filthy adult jokes, you must admit that ...Do you know which things you should buy in bulk? Check out the top 10 things you should buy in bulk in this article from howstuffworks.com. Advertisement The jokes about warehouse ... spain civil war May 23, 2013 ... He just, uh, got away from us"; what he meant was that George escaped. When Buster loses his left hand: "He's all right." The list goes on.A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had. any odd jobs for her to do. tv for chromecast Instead of getting crisp, clean water out of the sink, you get something that resembles mud. When these moments happen, it is important to look at the bright side of life. Hire a plumber to fix your piping while you get on your phone and laptop and read through these hilarious plumbing jokes. Whatever your problem is, you will see it is not … rdu to slc Not Happy. 2. A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, “I believe that I am a type o.”. 3. 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